IFS and Your True Self

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Richard Schwartz arrived at the name “Internal Family Systems” because he started his career in the more well-known field of Family Therapy.

He discovered all his patients had a large “internal family” of parts.

The name can be misleading. It is not family therapy. This is an INSIDE family of parts.

In the 1980s, Harvard therapist Schwarz was working with eating-disordered patients when he noticed his clients talking about “parts” of themselves.

We talk this way because it makes intuitive sense to us. For example, someone might say:

“One part of me wants to stay on my diet, but another part wants to eat the chocolate cake.”

Or “One part of me is bending over backward to keep the peace with my husband and another part of me suddenly starts screaming at him.”

Then Schwartz began to notice that he also had Parts and that some of his parts were causing him problems. He became very curious.

Thirty years later, Internal Family Systems (IFS) is now one of the world’s fastest-growing psychotherapies.

Mind blowing.

So far none of this is mind-blowing.

The important discovery that blows my mind is:

His patients all had a wise and healing “part” which they called their “authentic self” or “true self.'

Everyone, every single person, has a healing, wise, always kind and loving part? And it is our essential self?

Mind freaking blowing.

And this is demonstrated both clinically and scientifically? Wow.

World-changing! This literally, actually means that at the core all of us is wise and good?

Richard Schwartz has worked with every kind of patient and found this to be the case. The exact kind of people you might have wondered if they had any goodness at all - like murderers and child abusers.

You are essentially and profoundly good. Does that change everything you know about yourself?

If you saw the children’s movie Inside Out you saw the warring “parts” fighting for control of the little girl's behavior.

The Inside-Out movie doesn’t include the “Self” which harmonizes the inner warring parts and is what I sometimes call self-compassion.

The more Self has harmonized various parts, the more at peace you are,

The True Self balances the best of both spirituality and psychology.

Our dark stuff isn’t skipped over—no spiritual by-pass.

And all psychology's negative thoughts and feelings have incredible value when self-compassion opens your heart.

All the noisy parts—the parts causing us confusion or distress—are simply trying to get your attention. When we hear each part out and learn what they are trying to achieve, we find that no matter how confusing, stubborn, or distressing it initially seemed, the part ultimately gives us a gift of wisdom and empowerment.

The True Self, compassionate inner-self -- a higher self, if you will, has the capacity to resolve…well…everything and anything.

Richard Schwartz writes “The idea that at your essence you are pure joy and peace, and that from that place you are able to manifest clusters of wonderful leadership and healing qualities and a sense of spiritual connectedness, runs counter to what you’ve learned about yourself.”

  • Everyone is born with a True Self (or Authentic Self.)

  • The True Self can never be damaged.

  • It does not need to be developed. It’s a basic part of a human. Profoundly, and with an enduring truth, this is who YOU are—a good, healing force.

  • You are a blessing, a force for well-being—your well-being and those around you.

  • The True Self reclaims inner parts that were preventing a problem-solving approach and instead they become your powerful allies in resolving marital issues.

The True Self heals with Richard Schwartz’s 8 Cs: clarity, curiosity, calmness, courage, connectedness, creativity, confidence, and compassion.

The goal of IFS is it becoming Self-Led, which restores you and restores your relationships.