Practical Magic
/MAGICAL STATEMENT: The True Self is never damaged, is in every person, and can heal anything.
PRACTICAL STATEMENT: Richard Schwartz is at Harvard and has worked with the most challenging populations (from murders to child abusers). He’s found that every single person has a True Self.
The True self is the governing Self of a constellation of internal Parts.
Schwartz has scientifically validated Internal Family System Therapy.
The True Self is the ‘how’ — how you can find self-compassion.
The True Self is magic because it is invisible and wonderful— like the love we want in our marriages.
Magic means it is beyond the imagination of our current cultural thinking. Magic means science can’t see or measure it.
And practical because it offers simple steps that work. Similar to the functionality we need in the daily life of a marriage.
Internal Family Systems (IFS), was created—discovered—in the 1980’s by Richard Schwartz.
Why the name ‘Internal Family’? Schwartz was working in Family Therapy but found the True Self exists INSIDE each person — hence the name Internal Family Systems.
An INNER ‘family’ of Parts in each person that can dialogue with each other.
The True Self, the governing part of this inner family — has the capacity to resolve…well…everything and anything.
Richard Schwartz writes “The idea that at your essence you are pure joy and peace, and that from that place you are able to manifest clusters of wonderful leadership and healing qualities and a sense of spiritual connectedness, runs counter to what you’ve learned about yourself.”
The True Self harmonizes, resolves and empowers all the other parts of ourselves.
This is the ‘how’ — how I teach self-compassion. In IFS there is a saying “All parts are welcome.”
This is an invitation to self-compassion.
It is the compassionate Self. When we welcome all parts of our self with compassion, all parts are harmonized and empowered.
Why is self-compassion so essential? With self-compassion, all negative experiences become teachers and guides. We realize the necessary nature of what we call negative experiences.
Why is self-compassion so essential to our intimate relationships? When we are not criticizing ourselves, when we have peace with our thoughts and feelings, then we are ready to give feedback and have a solution-oriented relationship.
The True Self is practical magic.
I want to be very clear. Practical magic means that in spite of it being beyond our imagination, it works.
